Portugal and Cristiano

...cant wait to get university started and underway.
then again ..i have this deep dark emotion running through me which ceases to stop..................this sense of sadness.
i pretend i dont care and that ive gotton over it..but i havent.
daily life continues but i havent forgotton ..memories of lisbon are killing me from within

..i love things to be planned. i wonder sometimes will i be able to find someone.im talking about a soul mate..who understands me the way i am. this must be the first time im talking about finding someone like this...CR..ha. in my wildest most unbleleivable dreams ..and even then not..

just found out one of my mates from lisbon is getting married. :S ..my ages ..damn. how.can. she.
even the thought suffocates me. eeeekkk.no no no.no way. in hell on a personal level.