Portugal and Cristiano

i didnt think i would have to do this, but an evening of random eating , stress and too much goaless football has left me like this..cant sleep.

these days im getting some really long and complex dreams aswell...they just go on forever and they are so long and have chapters to them that i even forget parts of them. only this morning i woke up feeling depressed....asking my self mentally on my mood, i found that i was indeed depressed because of what had happened in the dream, only it was a dream and then i wasnt so depressed anymore.

most of my dreams are just random, but yesterday night was specific, as it included a wierd kind of mandir that i know..well i cant say for sure ...but i dont think it exits...ok im freaking myself out. enough of that

i know this will sound really wierd but the thought of university life is depressing me. the course is fine, i love it, its going to be my life. but on and overall note when i think about it, it becomes a dingy thought. perhaps college was soo good in terms of friends and social life that i worry that university just cant get better or can it? only time will tell. i see myself more often than not in some work shop, wood work, metal, plastic or in the library or on CAD in the computer suite...its just not exciting enough. i think im goingg to hate the first term like i hated college...but the more i hated college at the beginning the more i liked it at the end and the harder it became to leave, i think the same thing may occur again on a even grander scale.

i was wondering if i would meet the odd international student, portuguese perhaps, im asking for tooo much now. ive always wannted someone who i could relate to about how they are finding living in england...part of my love for cristiano was because i could relate to him so well.

that song seems to return to my mind every evening.......speaking quitely .carefully. not letting the words drop and smash from your mouth for they shall be revealed to others. and now its not letting me go to sleep, buzzing around my mind like a buzzy bee.