Portugal and Cristiano

Well, its ten days short of being a whole entire year since i last posted. And it seems as though this past year has flewn by so fast its been hard to grasp on to any one moment for too long.

So much has happened, so much that was never previously even imagined off and theres a sense of emotion that seems to catch the back of my throat everytime i think too hard any one particular past moment. In a wierd sort of way, college which has now ended had become an essential part of life and now its gone.

The next part of life beckons, this is the part ive been awaiting for the past five years. But im wondering whether perhaps its come round too quickly, ambivalence and confusion on this still occur.

My thoughts on Cristiano have changed so much, im scared of saying this but yes, the fan girl mind perhaps is fading away, and the professional side of me prevails. i think the heart has let go of him and yet the mind knows that this is not the right way. i still dream though. Upon reading my own previous posts im somewhat embarassed, was i crazy? yes. had i lost it? yes. but i liked it that way. Living my dreams out aload, perhaps im becoming too practical these days.

Concerning the novel, it has always been a semi-autobiographical.fanfic. and as time goes past the plot and storyline undergo change and this is what i want to rewrite. i think two years of college have been a real rollercoast from forbidden love, to jeousy, anguish and distinguished passion..its all just going to make the lacking plot of the novel stonger and the story more vivid.
The current version of the novel is still available on the CR17 forum, under fan fiction section . AN ARCHITECT'S GOAL