So im trying to do some much needed revision, but what do i get instead, a wedding dvd running in the living room whose backgroud track is making my emotions go absolutely mental on all levels. Did you ever realise bollywood songs are amazingly intense in their lyrics once you trying to follow their meaning they get to you ..in a wierd kind of way. Im trying to forget some parts of the past and they are only being dug in to deeper and deeper.
To say the truth, im trying not to think about the upcoming weddings but its becoming harder and harder, amibivalence again follows these mental plans of what to wear the the different ceremonies, i dont want the akward feelings of seeing certain people and the atmosphere they inflict upon you..sometimes you just wish you were never part of a society in which rules, regulations principles and morals encapsulate you to behave in a particular way.
I wish to fly well over these restrictions and gain entry in to a world or lifestyle in which people are more easy going, less complaicent and more accepting of differences and encouraging and recepetive of new ideas.
And yet after saying this , i love the culture and beleifs that i am born in to and brought up following and beleiving, there is a hypcrite in all of us, or perhaps every one suffers from the situation where your mind knows whats right and wrong but the heart wants to follow its unruly desires regarldess of anything.
On a more practical note, my eyes hurt from a late night chatting to friends on msn, and my tummy requests more and more food even though its not hungry or certainly not empty. Mentally im very busy, worried about exams..i should be worried so im worrying but the heart again doesnt care, i dont need the top grades deprately to get in to my choosen course, so should i bother. Ha. this is certainly not the mindset i work on or ever have, but other issues seem to dominate well over revision. ...
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